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    |     Premiered October 17, 2013

 
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Reign REVIEWS (34)

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  • Pious Plotters

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    Pious Plotters

    On tonight's episode of Reign, we witness a wedding, a big fight and another entry in the Henry the mad saga. Often times, around this time of the typical 22 episode season, we get filler episodes. Episodes meant to move the plot along and not offer much momentum. Rather, they set the pieces up for the finale. 


    I'm not sure what a filler episode looks like for Reign. There is always a piece of the puzzle that shifts ever so slightly. The game changer this episode? Never saw coming. But it still feels like a filler episode.

    Scotland Versus Francis 


    Let's just get it out of the way because this is what I am most interested in. Scotland needs Mary now more than ever, especially as tensions with France and her paramour Francis are high. 


    Since the king is as mad as the Mad King (Game of Thrones reference!), Mary and Francis do the dirty work by meeting with a Car...
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  • Mad Kings and Englishmen

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    Mad Kings and Englishmen

    Guys, before we get any deeper into Reign Season 1 Episode 18, we have to talk about something important. We need to talk about the viper in the suitcase.

    I don't know that I have ever loved anything on this beautiful, cuckoo-bananas show more than I have loved the viper in the suitcase--and I am saying that after watching an episode that featured King Henry tied up and wearing leather trousers.

    I liked the viper THAT much. It was more than just delightfully demented (but I mean, where is Queen Catherine keeping all her spare vipers so that she can get one on such short notice?).

    The viper in the suitcase was a great metaphor for everything that's wonderful about this show, which lives and thrives by its own deranged logic, and somehow makes it all seem perfectly natural.  #sixvipersandamovie

    I know there was a lot of conspiracy and international intrigue in this episode, but once again, I could barely focus on it due to all the ...
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  • Who Betrayed Mary?

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    Who Betrayed Mary?

    This week on Reign, Mary learns the hard way that politics is a dirty game. She has been betrayed by everyone. It's time for her to step up as queen of Scotland. We finally get to see the queen of Reign.



    "

    The Mad King is Still Mad


    Henry the Mad King is still ill or crazy or whatever he is. Francis thinks he needs time to recover. Katherine, meanwhile, has been trying to take over some of his duties because he's been too distracted by Penelope. And he's only getting worse.


    An Unspoken Obligation


    One of Katherine's ladies from "the flying squad,"(I think that's the name I heard. If it is, it's a ridiculous name) a group of women who report to Katherine and sleep with important men, has some secrets to share with Mary. Katherine has asked her to sleep with the king to get him away from Penelope. Instead of saying no, she wants to run away. She wants Mary to send ...
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  • I Don't Need Your Civil War

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    I Don't Need Your Civil War

    There was a lot to keep track of in Reign Season 1 Episode 17-- international intrigue, a huge massacre (the show's first!), and Queen Catherine getting her jollies (also a first!).

    But I want you to put all that on the back burner for a second so we can discuss what an absolute JOY Kenna and Bash's forced marriage is. That opening scene was like classic Moonlighting, and I wanted it to last for 85 minutes straight. Utter. Perfection.

    I had never thought of Bash as a particularly charismatic character--but perhaps that's because prior to this, all he was ever given to do was limp around pining for Mary, which is not a terrible charismatic thing to do.

    But I love his friction with Kenna, which provided all of the night's best Reign quotes in the show's first 5 minutes. Their marriage makes literally zero sense, but I am loving where it is going, despite (or possible because of) that!

    Okay, if we must talk about things other than Be...
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  • Strange Days

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    Strange Days

    Yes, I'm cranky, too--I know we were all primed to finally have whatever man, woman, child, or manimal that is the 'darkness' revealed in this hour. That's certainly where I had thought Reign Season 1 Episode 16 was going, and I was a little bummed to see the whole thing dispensed with so quickly, and with so little explanation--if the whistle that signals the arrival of the 'darkness' was blown, where was, you know, the darkness? Why didn't it devour Bash and Francis while they were struggling on the frozen pond?


    But if the episode lacked for mystical answers about the inhabitants of the woods, it certainly wasn't light on domestic terror. King Henry has gone full-on American Psycho--French Psycho, if you prefer--losing his hold on reality, and killing anyone who looks at him funny.

    What the hell is going on with this king? While I know nothing about, well, anything, but especially mercury poisoning, my vote is for some kind o...
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  • Little Monsters

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    Little Monsters On tonight's Reign: a surprise marriage, two switched engagements, some brother bonding, and a little reliable poison."


    Henry, The Mad King


    Do you know who the real monster is in this episode? It's our boy King Henry the Mad. Remember his worsening sexual appetite? Remember his ridiculousness over his sons? It's a miracle the writers didn't pull out this crazy behavior sooner.


    Henry is in one of his moods again, teaching a nobleman a lesson with candle wax. That's the least kinky thing that happens this episode. And Catherine condones him!


    This is the backbone of the episode of the week: "a queen for the day" contest. Any servant can become queen for a day by finding the magic bean. It's called Queen of the Bean. WHAT? The servant gets to wear royal clothes, order servants for a day, and gets presents. Also, if she is pretty, she must sleep with Henry. After this glorious day of roy...
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  • Darkness Falls

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    Darkness Falls

    I know I sometimes come off like someone's grandma in my Reign Season 1 reviews, because I get so shocked--shocked, I tell you!--at this public sex act, or that faked suicide attempt, or what have you. I was starting to wonder if maybe I was just a prude--such a prude that I was shocked by the antics of people who basically only just figured out that the earth revolves around the sun.

    So you can imagine my relief after watching Reign Season 1 Episode 15--I'm not a prude, this show is just DEPRAVED!

    Does it sound like I'm complaining? You can be sure that I am not. In fact, I was pleasantly surprised--I settled in expecting to see some scandal, but not the non-stop parade of kinky group sex, murder, sham marriages, pagan sacrifices, clever Reign quotes, and Freddy Krueger gloves that I got. All that, and every woman was dressed like Stevie Nicks. Oh god, why can't every show be like this?

    I know most of this hour was about t...
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  • Girls' Night

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    Girls' Night On this week's episode of Reign, Kitchen Boy is back. I repeat, Kitchen Boy is back. This is not a drill. Also, Henry spirals into a serial killer sort of, while Mary and Lola deal with the whole baby sitch. "

    Everything I complained about recently is being mended. The pace of this episode was not as crazy as usual, but mostly because it was trying to flush out its supporting cast. Kenna gets a storyline. Greer gets a storyline. Lola gets a storyline. Nostradamus gets a storyline. Olivia gets a storyline. Reign is giving them out like it's Oprah's car giveaway and I approve (though, Catherine and Mary had less to do this week, I welcomed the change). 



    Royally Messed Up


    Henry brings his new friend Anna to the party because royals are into the freaky. He puts Kenna in a compromising position to do the dirty with a female prostitute for Henry's enjoyment, all so Kenna can get...
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  • Funny and Die

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    Funny and Die

    This week, we get a buddy-cop cover up, an unplanned pregnancy and a weird woods storyline two months after the wedding. Just another week in Reign. 

    "I may have figured out the crazy mystery known as Reign. It's not the mystery of Clarissa or where Olivia, Francis' old lovah went, but rather where the show went where it went. 


    Let me explain with some history. Recent history. Reign was commissioned for 13 episodes before it was picked up for a full 22 episode first season. It has since been renewed for a second season (which means more love children and throne plotting). What this translates to though, is that while the Reign episodes were being written and produced, the writers had no idea if there would ever be an episode 14. It's sort of like Reign remembered to stop hitting snooze buttons and start drinking energy drink shots submerged in coffee.


    So that crazy Catherine ...
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  • Keep It Like a Secret

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    Keep It Like a Secret

    The middle of March is traditionally a kind of 'blah' time, at least in the colder parts of the country. As the last dregs of winter drip on long after you thought it would be spring already, everything starts to seem dull. TV often doesn't help, with networks packing these weeks with quieter episodes before moving on to big, season-ending plot arcs.

    But not Reign! Reign never rests, not for March, not for you, not for anybody! Reign can't power down because it's still cold out and it just wants to eat some carbs--it has too many murders, illegitimate pregnancies, and cover-ups to attend to, okay?

    Sometimes Reign tries to take itself a little bit seriously, and prove that it's characters have substance, and truly care about each other. And those episodes are good.

    But the episodes when it gives into the full campy glory, the soapy possibilities of a castle filled with murderous queens and skanky ladies-in-waiting and poisons, OH MY GOD THE P...
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